Friday, December 3, 2010
Whose Baby is it Really?
Micah (age 2): There's a baby in my belly!
Me: Oh, really? Where?
Micah: Right here (lifts shirt and points to belly button).
Me: Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?
Micah: Baby.
Me: Are you sure the baby isn't in my belly?
Micah: No. Baby in my belly!
Micah and I had many conversations that sounded like this in the weeks leading up to Eliora's birth. The funny thing is that, while mama's baby may be "out", according to Micah, his "baby" is still very much "in".
As I ponder the innocent absurdity of a two-year-old boy taking ownership of a baby that he has no capacity to carry, much less care for, I am reminded that I am not that unlike him myself.
I'll never forget her words,
"I always knew he wasn't really mine. He belongs to God, and God gave him to me. I never knew how long I would have him."
I sat in the middle of the crowded church, just across the street from the park where, only a few days previous, we had walked down the hill and across the stage to receive our diplomas. And now, here we were, a group of recently liberated young people--not really teenagers, not really adults--with our "whole lives ahead of us".
Or so we thought.
He had been a classmate of mine since Kindergarten. A brain aneurysm took him, and he was gone.
Me: Oh, really? Where?
Micah: Right here (lifts shirt and points to belly button).
Me: Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?
Micah: Baby.
Me: Are you sure the baby isn't in my belly?
Micah: No. Baby in my belly!
Micah and I had many conversations that sounded like this in the weeks leading up to Eliora's birth. The funny thing is that, while mama's baby may be "out", according to Micah, his "baby" is still very much "in".
As I ponder the innocent absurdity of a two-year-old boy taking ownership of a baby that he has no capacity to carry, much less care for, I am reminded that I am not that unlike him myself.
I am foolish to believe that I can truly care for these little ones on my own--or that they really belong to me...
I'll never forget her words,
"I always knew he wasn't really mine. He belongs to God, and God gave him to me. I never knew how long I would have him."
I sat in the middle of the crowded church, just across the street from the park where, only a few days previous, we had walked down the hill and across the stage to receive our diplomas. And now, here we were, a group of recently liberated young people--not really teenagers, not really adults--with our "whole lives ahead of us".
Or so we thought.
He had been a classmate of mine since Kindergarten. A brain aneurysm took him, and he was gone.
"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I shall return.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;
Blessed by the name of the LORD."
Job 1:21
The faith-filled words of his grieving mother had a profound impact on my 18-year-old self, and I find myself reflecting upon them to this day.
Not really mine.
God has given me four children. Fearfully and wonderfully made, amazing little children. And they are not really mine. They are His.
He has entrusted them to my care for a season. I don't know how long that season will be, or even what this very day holds.
As I hold this little newborn girl in my arms, I recognize that she is not really mine, and I confess that I am afraid.
She's so tiny, and fragile, and helpless...and God have her...(gulp)...to me???
I am certainly not entitled to question the wisdom of God, but why me?
I am afraid I won't do right by her. I am afraid that I won't be a good steward of this little blessing God has given me. And tears come.
I don't deserve her. Father, help me!
And then, I remember, that there was a baby that truly belonged to me...
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father.
Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6
Given.
Sacrificially. Selflessly. Completely Undeserved.
To be mine forever.
It is in Him, and through Him, and by Him that I care for, train, teach, and love these little ones.
One day at a time. For as long as He should see fit to give them to me.
"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and excellence."
2 Peter 1:3
By His Grace,
Tiana
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About Me
- Tiana
- I'm a Stay-at-Home, Christian, "crunchy" mama. I have been blessed with the calling to be a godly wife and mother. I am passionate about bringing up my children in the discipline and instruction of the LORD, through home education and discipleship. Helpmeet to my best friend and soulmate, Christopher since 1/29/2000, and mama to four little blessings, including a tiny, precious, newborn baby girl.
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4 comments:
ohhhh...so precious, so true. My heart is full-to-overflowing with gratitude for my little ones, and not-so-little ones, and HOW I need the reminder to hold them close, but loosely. What a gift it is to 'borrow' these babies for a time. Am acutely aware of it:
http://freeagentmommy.typepad.com/blog/2010/12/let-it-be.html
Such a beautiful post. Only for a season, just for this little while, are these precious babes on loan to me.
I'm new to your blog, and am enjoying it :)
Jaime @ Like a Bubbling Brook
Oh thank you so much for that great reminder! I have older kids than you- my eldest is 19 and hoping to be pilot in the Air Force. I have been fighting with myself over this, because I know he needs to go do what the Lord wants him to do, ("Defend the weak, Mom, that is what the Lord told me"), and yet, I try to cling to him and not let him because of what "might" happen.... Good words from a young Mama to an older Mama. Thank you!
What a beautiful, heart felt post! They are precious trust from the Lord, and we could never do it without His help!
May He bless you with wisdom as their Mama.
Blessings,
From a Mama of 9
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