Thursday, May 13, 2010

An Uncomfortable Silence

It's been two weeks since I've posted anything on this blog.

I'm generally not the type of person to "post for the sake of posting". Ever the recovering perfectionist, I'd rather write nothing at all than write something substandard.

It's not as though I've had no new, fresh ideas. I've had at least a half-dozen. But, just as I had reinforced my decision to take life at a slower pace, I came to a point where an even emptier plate was all I could handle.

I'm one of those moms for whom morning sickness is a misnomer--I get sick all day, every day, for the first three months of pregnancy. Even though I'm "technically" in second trimester now, the past several weeks have been particularly challenging. I normally blog early in the morning, when the house is asleep. These days, I've been content to be able to pry myself out of bed when my toddler wakes up.

I've also been wrestling with a few various, seemingly unrelated, private heartaches, too personal to share here. Perhaps to keep my humble. Perhaps to keep me prayerful. Perhaps to show me that this world is truly not my home.

As I think back over the past two weeks of uncomfortable silence on this blog, it occurs to me that God has been teaching me a great deal, using this time where my well is too dry to write, to renew my spirit with His living water. I have been blessed by the writings of several bloggers--kindred spirits, really--who have written what I needed to read, when I did not have the energy to write myself.

Ann Voskamp of A Holy Experience brought me to tears with her post, What to Do When You Want to Give Up and Stay in Bed.

June Fuentes of A Wise Woman Builds Her Home reminded me that my blog could wait, my children could not, with a thoroughly convicting post, A Wise Mother Guards Her Time.

My dear friend, Lisa Metzger of A Second Generation of Homeschooling, wrote this short, but oh-so-sweet post, God is Gently Leading, for At The Well: In Pursuit of Titus 2.

Caroline Allen of The Modest Mom (which, by the way, is a fantastic place to purchase work-at-home-mom made maternity skirts) gave me a to-do list that is life giving, and not a heavy burden.

Finally, Ladies Against Feminism is always a good place for me to go when I'm lacking vision. Once again, June Fuentes hit me where I live with this wonderful reminder that what I'm doing is important, and it matters far more than I may ever know: Reclaiming the Lost Vision of Motherhood.

And with that, my youngest blessing (outside the womb) is awake and needing mommy's love and attention. As I nurse him back to sleep while I type this, I am reminded that when I put God first and my husband and children second, my life comes back into balance, and I can again focus on His calling on my life.

He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength.
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Isaiah 40:29-31 (NASB)

Happy (Belated) Mother's Day! 

3 comments:

Melissa said...

Well said...thank you for sharing your heart

*Mirage* said...

**HUGS** Hang in there! I'm pregnant too (5 months along!) and dealing with "all-day sickness" also so I know how draining it is. So thankful for Mommy's Bliss brand "Morning Sickness Magic" right now. So true the blog can wait! It's not your primary mission field; your kids are! Growing a child from conception to adulthood is a high calling, revel in the joys and hang on through the tough spots. Thinking of you!

The Schulz Family said...

Just got to read this, its been very crazy in my home the last two months. One of my twin boys (both have cerebral palsy) had surgery on his hips/legs in April and is now in Inpatient Rehab at the hospital with my Mom so I can be home with the rest of my group. Anyway, I loved it, and just wanted you to know that you are an encouragement, and it's so good to know that there are other moms out there that are raising their kids and working within their families the Biblical way.

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I'm a Stay-at-Home, Christian, "crunchy" mama. I have been blessed with the calling to be a godly wife and mother. I am passionate about bringing up my children in the discipline and instruction of the LORD, through home education and discipleship. Helpmeet to my best friend and soulmate, Christopher since 1/29/2000, and mama to four little blessings, including a tiny, precious, newborn baby girl.

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Bible--Child's Story Bible by Catherine Vos, Apologia Biblical World View Book 1, "Who is God and Can I Really Know Him?"
Catechism-- "Training Hearts, Teaching Minds" by Starr Meade
Phonics--Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
(Kindergarten), Year 1 Booklist (1st Grade)
Handwriting--Bible Copywork, made using Educational Fontware
Spelling-- All About Spelling Level 1 (1st grade)
Math--Math-U-See Primer (Kindergarten) , Math-U-See Alpha (1st grade)
World History--Simply Charlotte Mason's Genesis Through Deuteronomy and Ancient Egypt
American History--The Light and The Glory For Children Series
Art--Interest-led projects and handicrafts
Geography and Missions-- "Hero Tales" by Dave and Neta Jackson, as well as various other missionary biographies, incorporating globe and map study
*We will be studying music and phy-ed., participating in a writing club and nature club, as well as attending various field trips, with our church's homeschool group.*

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