Be careful which sins you allow yourself to think you don't have a problem with...

I tend to think of myself as not a covetous person. After all, I don't crave fancy cars, high end jewelry, or a huge mansion. I certainly don't need the latest gadgets, the newest computer, or designer jeans.

But I have come to realize, during the wee small hours of this morning, that I still do have a covetous spirit...

I think of the strawberry and raspberry plants that I managed to kill, and I wish I knew how to garden.

My four year old daughter tells me that she'd like to make a little yellow jacket for the baby, with little canary yellow buttons sewn on, and I wish I was a knitter, a seamstress, or both.

I visit friend's homes that are beautifully well kept, with a place for everything, and everything in its place, and I wish that clutter wasn't a constant battle for me. I wish it would come to me as easily as it seems to come to them.

I think of women I know whose husband's have home businesses, and I wish we could spend that much time together as a family.

I wish the zoning board would allow us to keep chickens.

I wish I weren't allergic to cats.

I wish I weren't such an untrained housewife, having to learn so much of this as I go, reinventing the wheel along the way, and wondering if I'll even be able to learn how to keep order, and garden, and knit, and sew, in time to teach my daughter.

Not exactly the conventional definition of coveting, but coveting nonetheless.

I recently read a piece written by a woman, describing all the amazing things her mother did as a homemaker while she was growing up. The list was designed to show just how happy and productive a woman's life inside the home can be, but it put me to shame and brought me to tears. How can I possibly be a good wife and mother if I can't can vegetables, keep a beautiful flower garden, sew dresses for my daughter, and teach my children how to play piano, all the while keeping the house company-ready, just inviting opportunities for drop-of-the-hat hospitality?

I'm not good enough. How can I ever be good enough?


Then, it hit me like a train...


Comparing my weaknesses to the strengths of others, while neglecting to be grateful for the gifts and abilities God has given to me, is coveting at its lowest, and truly smacks of idolatry.

As a Christian parent, are your plans for your kids that much different from the rest of the world's?

...are you sure?

Okay, think fast...

What are your plans for your child's college education?

• Are you making sure he's taking all the correct academic subjects?
• Did you choose the neighborhood you live in to make sure you were in a good school district?
• How's that educational IRA looking? Do you have enough money saved?
• Do you think about which colleges would be best for your child?
• Is your child involved in extra-curricular activities that look good on college applications?
• Are you diligent in helping him with his homework? Do you drill him in preparation for tests?
• Have you talked to him about his areas of strengths--that is, what career field he should pursue?

I'm all of a sudden hearing people talk about the school year being over.

Honestly, I'm quite oblivious to it. While I know some homeschooling moms who plan every moment of their school year (months in advance), I'm just not that way!

For our family, education is life, and life is education. Sitting at the table with academic subjects takes up very little of our weekly schedule. I expect this to change somewhat as my children grow older, but for now Bible, the three R's, and history/geography are the only things we teach in a way that at all resembles "school".

That being said, we don't plan to take a break from school just because it is summer. I can scarcely imagine ceasing to educate my children any more than I can fathom ceasing to feed them. To be sure, our focus will change from mainly indoor activities to mainly outdoor ones...but stop learning? I'd sooner cut off my right arm.

Summer is a great time to learn! If you need some inspiration, here is a list of ten things to try. Please leave some ideas of your own in the comments section!

1. Keep Up With the Basics. Most kids do best academically when reading, writing, and math are reinforced throughout the year. You don't have to be intense about it, but taking a little time each week to practice the things that you've already mastered will go a long way when fall comes around. Most conventional schools have to spend a great deal of time reviewing last years information before they can introduce new concepts. You can avoid this in your homeschool by simply stretching your curriculum to fill the summer months. Since most curriculum is written to fit a typical school year, this gives you the added freedom to take time off when you need it.

2. Take a Scripture Memory Challenge. There are many different ways to do this. Ultimately, though, it is about hiding God's Word in our hearts, so just find a way to do it! Some families decide to memorize an entire chapter or book of the Bible together. Another way would be to study for the 2010 BibleBee. My children are not yet old enough to participate, but I contacted The National Bible Bee, and they said that we could still purchase a study kit for our family when they go on sale in June. Or, check out one of the free Scripture Memory Lists from Bethlehem Baptist Church, located in the Twin Cities of Minnesota.

3. Study Nature. Spend time in your backyard watching birds. Go on a hike in the woods. Go fishing or take a walk by lake or river. Anna Botsford Comstock's Handbook of Nature Study is a great tool for parents of children of all ages. It gives the basics (for those of us who are truly clueless), and goes into depths that even a high school student can appreciate.

4. Plant a Garden. I am famous for my brown thumb (just ask my college dorm mates about how I managed to kill a cactus!), but I've determined that, for the educational good of my children, we will have a garden this year. So far, we've taken on some already-started plants that will come back every year and be pretty hard to kill-even for me. In addition, we're going to plant a window box with basil. I've done this before and, surprisingly, it actually worked. The kids are hoping to get a tractor-tire planter in the back yard where they can plant their own seeds. Still working on the logistics of that one.

5. Visit a farm. If you can't, or don't want to plant a garden, how about visiting a local farm regularly? We have the blessing of having a small organic farm close by. We volunteer three hours of our time there every week during the summer, and in exchange, we come home with a big box of fresh produce and eggs. The children can't get enough of that place, and I have learned a lot from the wise people I have met there. It also makes me grateful for how easy it is for us to obtain the food we eat, even when money is tight. There's nothing like working out in the soil in the hot sun to make me ponder just how hard most people have had to work, throughout the history of the world, just to eat.

6. Spend time at the library. Of course, most of us don't want to spend every moment of every day outside. Sometimes, we just want to drink in some air conditioning! When it's too hot to do anything else, we like to take a field trip to the library. We can sit and read together in the children's area, or just gather a stack of books to take home with us. Many libraries have summer reading programs, where children can receive free books and other prizes for reading a certain number of books or for a certain number of minutes each day. Since we're avid readers in this house, it is easy for us to meet the requirements and win all the cool prizes. Last summer, the kids each came home with three new books, an adorable book bag, plus a coupon for a free scoop of frozen custard. Yum!

7. Visit Historic Sites, Landmarks, or Museums. You probably have a few of these nearby, and they probably host special events during the summers. Spend some time with your state's tourism website to find out what and when they are. We have gleaned so much from these summer family field trips. Reading about history in a book is one thing. Seeing it, touching it, and tasting it is quite another. Late last summer, I blogged about one of our favorite historic field trips to the Wade House in Greenbush, WI

8. Play Dates! Fun with friends is generally a lot easier to schedule during the summer months. Why not get together with friends at a local park or beach? Or maybe have a picnic or bonfire in the backyard? Time invested in building relationships is time well spent.

9. Enjoy a Sport. Participating in year-long athletic activities can be expensive in both time and money. However, it can be more affordable and less intense to join a summer league or class. It can also be a great time to take swimming lessons at a local pool. 


10. Consider Camping. There's hardly a better way to enhance family togetherness than camping, and it's a lot easier on the budget than other vacation options. Teach your kids how to build a fire, cook "the old fashioned way" and wash dishes by hand in a bucket. They'll quickly learn to appreciate indoor plumbing, refrigeration and electricity! They'll also probably learn a lot more about their parents. If you ask around, you may even find that there is a Christian camp not-too-far-from-you that caters to family campers. We don't think we'll be big on sending our kids away to camp--even when they're older--but family camping is right up our alley!

So, that's my list...what's yours?

I have a confession to make that will not come as a great surprise to many of you, but that will truly shock some of you...

Something that might make me the object of ridicule or the butt of jokes...

Something that may make some of you feel sorry for me...

Something that might motivate some of you to pray for me, that I might realize that I don't have to live this way...

Some of you may even pray that God does something to "teach me a lesson" about how irresponsible I'm being...

Actually, I've been this way for a long time...probably all of my life, if I'm honest with myself. I can look back and see the signs in my personality from when I was a little child.

No, I don't blame it on my parents...they weren't this way...but I do credit God, for this is what he created me to be.

I suppressed it for a while, because all of society around me told me how wrong it was. I did have a couple of friends who were like me in this, who tried to encourage me to embrace this lifestyle. I did my best to push them away and not listen. Sadly, it took years for me to realize that they were right.

Up until now, I've been afraid to blog about it...afraid of what my friends and family might think.

But I've come to realize that I have nothing to be ashamed of. This is part of who I am, and part of who God has called me to be, so I don't need to hide it anymore.

So...what is this shocking secret, you may ask?

I'm QuiverFull.


There I said it.

More accurately, we're QuiverFull. This is a choice that my husband and I have embraced, mutually.

For those of you who don't speak Christianese, "QuiverFull" means that we are allowing God to bless us with as many children as He sees fit. We will not use any form of "birth control", and we will leave the size of our family up to Him.

The term has its origins in Psalm 127:4-5 :

It's been two weeks since I've posted anything on this blog.

I'm generally not the type of person to "post for the sake of posting". Ever the recovering perfectionist, I'd rather write nothing at all than write something substandard.

It's not as though I've had no new, fresh ideas. I've had at least a half-dozen. But, just as I had reinforced my decision to take life at a slower pace, I came to a point where an even emptier plate was all I could handle.

I'm one of those moms for whom morning sickness is a misnomer--I get sick all day, every day, for the first three months of pregnancy. Even though I'm "technically" in second trimester now, the past several weeks have been particularly challenging. I normally blog early in the morning, when the house is asleep. These days, I've been content to be able to pry myself out of bed when my toddler wakes up.

I've also been wrestling with a few various, seemingly unrelated, private heartaches, too personal to share here. Perhaps to keep my humble. Perhaps to keep me prayerful. Perhaps to show me that this world is truly not my home.

As I think back over the past two weeks of uncomfortable silence on this blog, it occurs to me that God has been teaching me a great deal, using this time where my well is too dry to write, to renew my spirit with His living water. I have been blessed by the writings of several bloggers--kindred spirits, really--who have written what I needed to read, when I did not have the energy to write myself.

Ann Voskamp of A Holy Experience brought me to tears with her post, What to Do When You Want to Give Up and Stay in Bed.

June Fuentes of A Wise Woman Builds Her Home reminded me that my blog could wait, my children could not, with a thoroughly convicting post, A Wise Mother Guards Her Time.

My dear friend, Lisa Metzger of A Second Generation of Homeschooling, wrote this short, but oh-so-sweet post, God is Gently Leading, for At The Well: In Pursuit of Titus 2.

Caroline Allen of The Modest Mom (which, by the way, is a fantastic place to purchase work-at-home-mom made maternity skirts) gave me a to-do list that is life giving, and not a heavy burden.

Finally, Ladies Against Feminism is always a good place for me to go when I'm lacking vision. Once again, June Fuentes hit me where I live with this wonderful reminder that what I'm doing is important, and it matters far more than I may ever know: Reclaiming the Lost Vision of Motherhood.

And with that, my youngest blessing (outside the womb) is awake and needing mommy's love and attention. As I nurse him back to sleep while I type this, I am reminded that when I put God first and my husband and children second, my life comes back into balance, and I can again focus on His calling on my life.


Happy (Belated) Mother's Day! 

The other morning, I read this post from this week's Carnival of Homeschooling, and it really got me thinking...

I did not have a slow childhood. Actually, that's an understatement. I have been a busy, overachieving perfectionist ever since I saw Mary Lou Retton get her "perfect 10" and told my first grade teacher that I was going to be an Olympic gymnast some day (and meant it). When I wasn't busy with gymnastics, there was always something else--swimming, ballet, tap, strength training.



By the time I grew to be a 5'9" high school student (that's right, a full foot taller than Mary Lou) and put away my Olympic dream for good, gymnastics was replaced by a whole new list of busy endeavors--theater, swing choir, forensics, my own show on the high school radio station, and a job serving hamburgers at McDonald's.


Thankfully, by this time, the LORD was getting a chunk of my attention, but even this often amounted to "busyness"--leading the lunch hour Bible club, singing in the church youth choir, not to mention an endless stream of Campus Life and Youth Group activities. My idea of serving the LORD amounted to seeing just how busy I could be for Him.


Reading this litany of activities may make you dizzy, and lead you to the belief that I was never home.

And, that's basically true.

I was home long enough to do my homework and sleep...and maybe eat, occasionally.

There were a couple of times when my schedule got the best of me, and I had to back out of an activity or two to keep myself sane--for example, the time when I discovered that I couldn't be on the high school swim team and in the fall musical at the same time. Slow down a bit? Maybe. Truly slow? Never.

It wasn't until I read the aforementioned blog post that I realized just how much slower of a childhood I have chosen for my children. I have several reasons for this:

--It makes life simpler and less stressful. I don't have to run around to fifteen different events per week, so I can spend more time actually being with my kids, instead of merely being their chauffeur.

--It's less expensive--in time, money, and resources. If I want to continue to be a homemaker and have a large family, something has to give. My little ones can run around and play outside. We can have a play date at a friend's house if we're bored. When my daughter does headstands or sommersaults on my living room couch I sometimes wonder if I'm not somehow depriving her by not sending her to gymnastics lessons. At the same time I know that if she had to choose between being in gymnastics and having me home with her and her brothers, I know which choice she would make.



--It nurtures creativity. Right now, my oldest is building a grain combine out of Legos. Because he can. He got the idea to build some farm equipment from something he was reading, drew a picture of it with pencil and paper, and then went upstairs to build it. As I type this, he periodically comes down to show me which part he just finished, and what he's going to add next. If we had every minute of our day scheduled, this kind of creative accomplishment would never happen.

--It allows for spontaneity. This week, we had the opportunity to visit a friend and her new baby in the hospital. There are other days when daddy will have an unexpected day off of work, and we enjoy an unplanned family field trip. Then there are the days when the weather is so gorgeous that it would be a shame to spend any of it inside "doing school". The kids run and play outside until their hair is windblown, their socks are full of sand, and there's another hole in one of Asher's jeans. Then, they come inside for a healthy snack, a snuggle with a good book, and a nap. Try pulling that off in a conventional 8-3 classroom!



--It helps to prevent mother burn-out. When I talk to mothers who have given up on homeschooling, they say the same kind of things over and over again:

          "I never felt like I was doing enough."


                             "I was tired of fighting with my kids over schoolwork."


                                              "I guess I'm not cut out to be a teacher."


                        "It was too much. I just don't have the energy for it anymore."

I think, for a lot of these women, if they slowed down, focused on enjoying their children, and allowed for a more natural learning process to occur (instead of trying to make their home into a conventional classroom), they would see the light at the end of the tunnel. A slower pace means that we can take a day off--or a week off!--when we need to. When we're having a "blah" day, we can spend it playing "Candy Land", "Go Fish", and "I Spy". We can play dress up. We can read every story in our Thomas the Tank Engine Collection. Twice. We can organize the toys in the basement and clear away the cobwebs. We can bake cookies.

I've found that, especially with young children, academic subjects can be handled in short, relatively painless spurts. Yes, there will be the days when we have to work harder than usual to master a concept, but, more often than not, learning is a pleasant, peaceful experience.

--It allows is to "major in the majors". We've all had times when our lives have been out of balance. We wake up in the morning realizing that we have more to-do list than day to do it in, and none of it seem particularly worthwhile. Ah, the tyranny of the urgent. While there will always be dishes to wash, clothes to launder, and bills to pay, I have come to the realization that many of these "must do's" I have brought upon myself. In the past year, I have dropped out of many outside activities, and I'm on the verge of cutting out most of what's left. I cannot do it all...and what's more, I don't want to. If I want to have any energy left for the things that are truly important, I need to make some space in my mind, heart, and calendar.

Now, don't get me wrong,  I value the opportunities given to me when I was younger, and they have helped to make me the person I am today. I can't help but wonder, though, if I wouldn't be struggling so much as a homemaker if I had been...well...home more often.

You see, there is this war within my soul. A war between Mary and Martha. Mary says I need to spend more time sitting at the feet of Jesus. Martha says I'm lazy and a lousy housekeeper. Mary is proud of me for blogging right now. Martha keeps reminding me of the sink full of dishes and the kitchen floor that needs to be mopped.

There will always be the "mundane" tasks to do. But even then, there is something sacred in living a simple life, free from the endless deluge of attractive distractions. Perhaps it is my lust for attention, recognition, and importance that makes the basic daily tasks of this life seem mundane to begin with.

Maybe, after having lived a more simple childhood, my children will not be surprised by the fact that sometimes life is mundane. Maybe they won't see their basic responsibilities as drudgery.

I don't know all the answers, but I think I've learned at least one thing:

If I'm going to be able to "get it all done" and still have time to read, pray, think, learn, write, and grow,

I need to take...life...slow.