It's already happening...


October is not even over yet, and my mailbox is filled with...

"Holiday Catalogs"!


How is a mom to help her children to understand...

being content with what you have,

giving to others, and most importantly,


the real meaning of Christmas, 

when the retail machine jumps the gun on me like this???

You might be saying, "Come on, Tiana, you don't seem like an idiot. Don't you know any better? Couldn't you see this coming?"

And, the truth is, I do know better...for the most part. We don't get many catalogs at this house anymore. I've done my best to get our family off of the most annoying and offensive mailing lists. The majority of what's left finds the trash can before any little hands can get to it. But, the Fleet Farm Toyland catalog--that presumably innocent tool to help Grandma and Grandpa know what the children would like for Christmas--Oh! It is the bane of my existence these days! I'll think I have hidden it where little eyes couldn't possibly find it...and then it comes back again! I keep telling myself that, when they are asleep, I'm going to pitch it. Of course, I never get around to it, and so, I find myself doing my best to appropriately parent my way through a chorus of...

"Mom, could I have...?"

Okay, so back to the catalog. I think this is finally the resource I've been looking for, to help my children get outside themselves and think about others who do not have the abundance that we do.

Samaritan's Purse offers us the unique opportunity to give tangible, real, life-changing gifts to needy families across the globe. Here are just a few examples of the kinds of gifts you and your family can give together:

• A week's worth of hot meals for a hungry child: $7
• One month of safe, loving care for an orphan: $35
• Rescue a child from bondage and abuse: $75
• Seeds, tools, and training for a subsistence farm family: $45
• A mosquito net to prevent a child from malaria: $10
• One dozen baby chicks, that can be raised to provide eggs: $14
• Family Survival Kit for victims of a natural disaster: $45
• Provide one month of care for AIDS orphans and widows: $45
• A water filter to provide clean, safe water for one family: $100
• Bible school education for Sudanese pastors: $25
• Copies of the New Testament for 10 children: $40

It has been one of those weeks.

It has been a week of half-completed projects, sidetracked thinking, discouragement, and questioning my abilities as a mother. I haven't spent nearly enough time outdoors, and have spent way too much time on the computer. My children took a couple of opportunities to royally embarrass me in public. The house is a mess. I love my babies dearly, but I haven't done a great job of showing it.

Where is the disconnect? What happened? A week ago Sunday, I was feeling so encouraged--so inspired! I had the chance to sit under some amazing teaching at church, and it was so timely and so applicable, that I felt like I could take on the world! So, what went wrong?

If I am honest about it, I admit that I have been "tuned in" to the wrong things. I have been paying attention to the noise--the radio, and especially the internet--and not paying attention to the LORD and His Word as I should. How will I ever accomplish what He has set before me to do in this life if I am not immersed in the Scriptures and Prayer?

I tell myself that I don't have time to spend alone with Him...but it's just a lie. I seem to be perfectly capable of justifying the time I spend alone on the computer while the children play by themselves. There's no good reason for me not to seek to be in God's Holy Presence.

So here I am, at 5am on Sunday morning, alone in the dark. I am about to turn the computer off. Short of an emergency, I will not turn it back on again today. I am about to take a shower and spend some time alone in prayer. I will go to church with my family in a few hours. I will encourage my children to take a Sunday afternoon nap, so that we can observe the Sabbath Rest. I will attempt to do what my pastor suggested last Sunday, and start writing in a prayer journal again. I am unplugging from cyberspace, and plugging back into my Creator.

Perhaps, after unplugging for a day (or two), I will be more capable of keeping things in their proper perspective. Perhaps I will be a better mother, a better wife, and a better homemaker. Most importantly, perhaps I will be a more fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ.

• People who are wealthy by the world's standards, and people who are quite poor compared to other Americans, 
• People who are mature in their faith, as well as newer believers who see the way that they educate their children as one more thing about their life that needs to change because of Christ,
• Former classroom teachers, yes...but also factory workers, farmers, carpenters, ballerinas, truck drivers, nurses, accountants, waitresses, librarians, physical therapists, pastors, midwives and mail carriers. Homemakers who have no formal education beyond high school are often the most qualified people to teach their own children--and the vast majority of them do an excellent job of it.

"Samuel said, "Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams." I Samuel 15:22

• I woke up at 6am to write this blog post...and spent 45 minutes reading and answering emails.
• I have been convicted that I need to shed one of my volunteer activities so as to be able to focus my time and energy on God's current calling on my life...but I keep putting it off.
• A friend shared recently that her boys were so busy doing the dishes that when she said, "We need to leave for the grocery store, now"...they used the "good" of doing dishes as a reason to not obey.

"I am commanded to bring my children up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), and to do so by teaching them God’s statutes when I sit in my house, when I lie down, when I rise up, and when I walk along the way (Deut. 6:7).  I am also admonished not to place myself, or by extension my children, under false teaching (Col. 2:8), or to expose them to teaching that undermines God’s Law (Matt. 5:17-20).  Instead, I must teach them to “take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5), to refuse to be “conformed to the pattern of this world” (Rom. 12:2), and meditate on God’s Law day and night (Ps. 1:2)."

I am amazed by how many Christians see government schools as the "default" when it comes to providing education for their children. Even more alarming is how many will use their faith as a justification for it. 

• "Our children need to be 'lights' in a fallen world." I'm sorry, but my five year old, as much as he loves God, is not a light--he is a sponge. Give him 15 minutes with a "questionable" television program--No, 30 seconds with a beer ad during a football game!--and he will have absorbed it. Public schools can be a great mission field for a spiritually mature adult, but they are no place for a young, impressionable child. Luke 6:40 states, "A pupil is not above his teacher, but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher." Who do I want my children to be like when they grow up? What do I want them to become? If I want them to be like Christ, then I must provide them a Christian education. Then, they will they be prepared to be lights in a fallen world! A couple hours on Sunday morning is not doing it for our kids. An alarming 75-90% of the church's teenagers are "graduating from God" when they graduate from high school. They are walking away from their faith. Some 85-90% of Christian parents send their kids to government schools. Coincidence?
• "But, our schools are different!" The Beach Boys sang, "Be true to your school, just like you would to your girl." Public service campaigns have been pretty successful in getting people to believe that their schools are great and their teachers are all top-notch. Sure, maybe other schools are failing, but ours are wonderful. Even if they are academically stellar, your public school is not providing a Christ-centered education. Many Christians will also point out that there are Christian teachers at their child's school. This may be true, and I am happy that there are godly men and women stepping into this mission field every day. I am friends with several Christians who are also public school teachers, and their job is not an easy one. Nonetheless, no matter how godly and mature these believers are, they will not have a job for long if they start teaching from a Christian perspective. The foundational truths of the Bible--that God created us and loves us, that we are sinners in need of salvation--are necessarily absent from a government education. It is the responsibility of the public school system to provide a secular humanist education. When I remember that my primary responsibility in educating my children is to train them up in the knowledge of God, the decision about where and how to "school" them becomes more obvious.
• "We don't want non-Christians to believe that we think we are better than they are." It's pretty easy to get involved in a whose kids are better-smarter-more advanced kind of argument in an effort to justify our own choices. Arguments like this tend to miss the point, though. People can think all sorts of things. It is my responsibility to teach my children in a manner in accordance with the Scriptures.
• "But, what about socialization???" I've heard this argument for public schools over and over again, and it's a red herring. School is not supposed to be about socialization--it is supposed to be about education. For every story you can site about "socially awkward" kids who were homeschooled, I can site three stories of children whose ability to learn and develop to their full potential was negatively impacted by peer pressure, bullying, rude and uncaring teachers, and the like. The biblical model for socialization has always been the family and the faith community/church. The only example of the peer socialization model in the Bible is in the book of Daniel. In this case, the finest of the young Hebrew men were removed from their homes and families and were trained in the literature and customs of the Babylonians. (See Daniel 1:3-5) This was a blatant attempt by the government to rid the youth of their Hebrew customs and faith in YHWH. While we can admire and be inspired by the four young men who clung to the LORD and refused to conform to the Babylonian ways, we must remember that there were many, many more young Hebrew men who were part of this group. Of all of them, only four retained their faith and trust in God--Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. Still think that peer socialization in a secular school is the best choice for your kids?

In a conversation with some other homeschooling moms this week on As A Mom , I was reminded of another reason that so many homeschooling families quit after only a year or two, and why many more refuse to consider homeschooling in the first place.

If we revisit the conventional school model, we see that most children are in school from about 8am-3pm, with only a few short breaks in between. Their time in school is, depending upon their age, broken up into approximately 40-60 minutes per subject area, and they study most subjects every day. This gives some homeschooling parents the notion that they need to keep their children busy with school work for at least 6 hours a day, and spend at least some time in each subject every day. Since we can't see how we could possibly spend that much time on school, we assume that we are substandard teachers and not doing "enough".

I'd like to take a moment to bust this myth open with a sledgehammer.

In conventional schools, teachers are typically in charge of somewhere between 15-30 children, sometimes even more. This does not allow for much one-on-one time with each student. On the flip side, a homeschooling mom, even if she has a large family, has plenty of opportunity throughout the day for one-on-one interaction with each child.  One home educating mother put it well when she said, "really, we are less like teachers and more like tutors".

With this kind of consistent interaction, our school day doesn't have to be confined into little windows of time set aside to cover today's chapter in each textbook. We can spend all morning on a science project if we'd like. On the next day, we can devote ourselves to reading a living book from an important time in history, and then spend the rest of the day engaging in meaningful conversation about what life might have been like for people who lived during that time.

Conversely, reading lessons with my Kindergartener typically take 15 minutes or less. He is completing them even faster as his proficiency as a reader increases. That doesn't necessarily mean that he only spends 15 minutes per day reading. Today, he read several books chosen by himself, without prompting. It does mean, though, that once our 15 minute reading lesson was completed, we could be done for the day.

It was enough.

What does "enough" look like?

• When the child completes the lesson. --When the assigned math problems for today are solved, when the copy-work has been written, when the chapter has been read, when the Bible verse has been memorized, it is enough. Even if it took you fifteen minutes. Even if it took you two minutes. You can move on. It's enough!
• When the material has been mastered.--Some educators advocate ceaseless repetition of exercises, regardless of whether or not the child has learned what he or she was to learn. This is particularly true of conventional classrooms, where students all work at the same pace regardless of ability. No wonder our nation's schools are so filled with bored underachievers! If your child has mastered the skill in one page, why do three? Come back and review it tomorrow, to be sure, but be done for the day. It's enough!
• When you or your child become frustrated.--Parents can exhaust themselves and their children by continuing to pound on a particular lesson when they are clearly not making any progress. It is okay to fly the white flag of surrender and revisit the topic at another time. Take some time to do something fun together, or to pursue a goal that you know you will easily accomplish. As you put a couple of tally marks into your "win" column, you may find that you're able to think more clearly about what went wrong today, and how you can do better tomorrow. There's no need to, as grandpa would say, "beat a dead horse". It's enough!
• When life provides an unexpected opportunity.--There are times when God interrupts our routines and it is in our best interest to take notice and follow His lead. Yesterday, after a dark evening and morning of heavy rain, the sun came out and we were surprised by the new brightness shining through our living room window. Having spent a great portion of the morning studying Noah, the flood, and the promise of God to never again destroy the whole earth with water, it only made sense for us to take a few minutes to see if we could find a rainbow. We didn't, but I'm still glad we tried. Is it an unusually warm day outside? Did a fresh snow fall? Did a neighbor just have a baby? Does she need a meal brought to her? Go ahead and put the book down. It will be there when you get back. It's enough!

The kids and I are all sick. I think we have the flu, but I'm pretty sure we'll live, despite what the CDC may think!

This has given me the opportunity to think about yet another advantage of homeschooling. A homeschooling family can take illness in stride, knowing that they write their own schedules and can make adjustments to meet the needs of sick kids. In fact, I've known several families who have chosen home education for a chronically or severely ill child. When getting out of bed in the morning is a challenge, and a child is regularly missing school due to health issues, it makes sense to allow the child to learn at his or her own pace, at home.

How does home education make it easier for families to cope with the occasional cold bug or flu virus?

Here are a few ways:

~Homeschooling families are not as beholden to the calendar as families with kids in conventional schools. We can have school on the weekends, over holidays, and throughout the whole summer. We can take as much time off as we need to regain our health and strength, and then pick up where we left off.

Compare this to a conventionally school child who falls ill. When he becomes too ill to go to school, he falls behind. He may be able to receive homework and reading assignments to complete while he is home, but this doesn't completely solve the problem. What if he is too sick to do them? Will he be able to understand what he is being asked to do if he hasn't been in class to hear the lesson from the teacher? If he misses many days of school, how will he catch up? For a child that is struggling academically to begin with, a week out may be virtually impossible to recover from.

To avoid this situation, many parents send sick children to school. This makes it very likely that the rest of the class will be exposed to the germs and become ill--and the cycle continues.

~In a misguided effort to make sure that school children become ill as infrequently as possible, the CDC and state governments are requiring more and more vaccines for school attendance. We are vaccinating our children for diseases that rarely cause complications--such as the chicken pox, as well as for diseases that our children are unlikely to catch--such as Hepatitis B. No long term studies have been done to show the safety of receiving this many inoculations at such young ages, and many parents report that their children have developed long term health complications after receiving these shot.

In many states, the shots are required only for children attending public schools. Homeschooling families may simply refuse the vaccines at the doctor's office. In most states, waivers are attainable if parents wish to send their non-vaccinated children to public school. Most parents don't know this, as it is rarely advertised.

Recently, there has been a lot of hype and confusion about H1N1, or "Swine Flu" as it is often referred to, and its vaccine. For up-to-date information about the virus and the vaccine, and what it means for your family, visit NVIC.org .

~A home educating family's school day can start and stop whenever we want or need it to. We can allow an ill child to sleep in, have an abbreviated school day consisting of mild activities, and give the child plenty of time to rest and recuperate. There is no worry that the child will fall behind his classmates--we just do what we can and pick up where we left off.

So, what kinds of activities can we do with sick kids in the house? Here are some examples:

• Read aloud. Pick some favorite picture books and chapter books, and read to your sick child. I find that even very young children can understand and appreciate far more interesting literature than we give them credit for. Spend an afternoon with The Boxcar Children, Charlotte's Web, or Little House on the Prairie. All of these books include some illustrations to engage children's interest without being what Charlotte Mason would refer to as twaddle.
• Spend Time Observing a Pet or Plant. The cat I had as a child always seemed to know when I was sick. She would carefully jump up onto my lap, crawl under the covers with me, and purr, presumably to comfort me and keep me warm. Many doctor's offices keep aquariums because observing the movements of fish has been shown to reduce stress. An ill child can be situated near a window, where he or she can watch the wind blow through the trees, the rain or snow as it falls, and the activities of local animals: squirrels, rabbits, mourning doves, and robins around here. If the child is well enough, she might like to write or draw in a nature journal about this experience.
• Learn About Health, Nutrition, and the Human Body. There are all kinds of free resources available, both online and at the library, for teaching children about sickness, health, and our fearfully and wonderfully made bodies and immune systems. Take some time with your children to learn about how God created their bodies to fight off illness, and what we can do as people to keep our bodies healthy.
• (Judiciously) Use Educational Videos. We prefer not to turn the TV on most days in our household. However, when mom is sick in addition to the children, a little bit of wisely chosen educational programing can be a treat. Some of our favorites include:
• Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. If the people who are carrying on the legacy of dear Fred Rogers would only publish a complete DVD set of "How People Make Things", my five year old son would be forever grateful. Mr. Rogers is one of the few children's programs still on the air that we are comfortable allowing our children to watch.
• Beatrix Potter. A few of her tales are available on video and DVD. The animations are simple and very true to the originals. It is like having the story read to you.
• Thomas the Tank Engine. In a similar vain, the older Thomas the Tank Engine Videos and DVDs are true to the original tales by the Rev. Awdry,  and are like setting foot into a model train collection. The more recent releases that use computer animation are rather disappointing.
• Disney's American Legends. I am normally not a Disney fan, but this DVD is wonderful. The tall tales of American history come to life--hear the stories of John Henry, Johnny Appleseed, Paul Bunyan, and Casey Jones. The animations were completed in 1958. Introductions by James Earl Jones were added when the DVD was published.
• The Adventures of Milo and Otis. You can probably find this endearing tale of a curious cat and a pug-nosed-pup in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart. It is a live action movie, without any silly attempts to animate the animals' mouths. The story is told by Dudley Moore, and the cinematography is superb. Both my 3 year old and my 5 year old would probably tell you that this is their favorite movie.
• Moody Institute of Science--Wonders of God's Creation. When we again have two nickles to rub together, this series is next on our list. Live action videos teach the wonders of creation science to children and adults of all ages.